Reader Monica Abbott spotted this sign near the Sears Hardware at Essex Green shopping center in West Orange and sent it our way. Charming, we admit, but stork parking (as it’s called) does raise some interesting questions, and some gripes. What, for example, about new fathers? Don’t they have babies to lug around too? How about the merely fat? People with great big packages to return? Those who didn’t dress warmly enough?
And then there are all those Type A’s, people who might burst a blood vessel if they lose a second or two. We wouldn’t want to see parking lots filled with exploding lawyers and CEO’s, would we? But what would the pictograph be if we conferred parking tickets on the Type A’s? A shark, maybe. And the wording? Because you’re faster, and meaner. Or perhaps, You rule the world. Others can walk. Anyone not driving a foreign car gets ticketed.