Seen at the corner of Harrison Ave. & Llewellyn Road, a sign is up for the next wave of townhouses in Montclair. Located on the site of the old Montclair Community Hospital, the development, brought to you by Continental Properties, will be called Montclair Heights. Talk about your less-than-inspired names (as well as confusing, since there is a Montclair Heights station all the way up by MSU). Somehow, it makes Hempstead sound positively imaginative.
A call to the #800 gives you the following information:
There will be 19 “super luxury” townhouses built on the site. Townhomes will have three bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms, and a two-car garage. Gourmet chef-style kitchens will feature granite counters, Subzero fridges and Viking ranges. A whirlpool in every masterbath and fully-finished basements. No prices yet…
Some new suggestions:
Montclair-on-the-Moors
Port au Montclaire
Montclair-just-an-hour-away-from-the-Sea
“Ultra Luxury”…
Hey, THIS is Montclair Heights, aka “Skunk Hollow.”
Community Hospital is more like “West Orange Heights” or “Montclair Depths” or “East Hanover East.”
Montclairista
Miss Martta, thanks for the laugh in my last hour of work for the next 3 days.
Woo-hoo! Bring on the wassail!
What about “Baristaville Heights”?
Unusual choice, since the traditional association of “Heights” is “low income” or “poverty” …
Considering its location in/near the estate section, a more logical choice could have been “Montclair Estates” …
Yes, I know townhome/condo developments are more financially lucrative, but whatever happened to new single family home developments? Why hasn’t Hovnanian or Toll Brothers bothered to take notice of these land opportunities when they become available? I’d love to see some homes in Montclair other than 50-100+ year old fixer-upper structures …
if you consider million dollar homes “low income” or “poverty”, then I guess the traditional association of “heights” describes my hood.
“Fortress Montclair: the Gated Community with Attitude!”
“Peckerwood Highlands: Triple-wide McMansions with No Money Down.”
“If We Had a Name You Couldn’t Afford It Anyway: Your Bucks Stop Here.”
… but, if it were only closer to Sodom on the Hudson, I would love to have an address in Fort Nonsense, NJ.
Triple-wide, hoooo-wee!
LOL, Conan! Sorry we missed you last night.
How about Lower Upper Montclair?
“Yes, I know townhome/condo developments are more financially lucrative, but whatever happened to new single family home developments? Why hasn’t Hovnanian or Toll Brothers bothered to take notice of these land opportunities when they become available? I’d love to see some homes in Montclair other than 50-100+ year old fixer-upper structures …”
Jim, there are a lot of people who want the address, but once they’ve paid for the address, they can’t afford the upkeep on the property, or they’re spending so much time working to afford the address they don’t have time for the property. The developers are seizing this market as fast as they can, because they can sell less expensive homes for the same price as single families as long as they get a piece of land in the right place. When you get a property in land-poor Montclair, you can be darned sure the developers are going to put in as many saleable units as they can fit.
Anything is better than “blank AT blank”
Montclair Heights is the wannabe name given by real estate people to the section of Clifton adjacent to Upper Montclair. Continental Properties should do some market research before using a name associated with lower taxes and less diversity than Montclair. Also, you should proofread your Beyond Expectations website buttons, Apartment is misspelled.