Happy Lunar New Year!

Your Fortune Is

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

I had a dream last night that a local Chinese restaurant was making dumplings with truffles. Tell us your fortune and what’s for dinner?

Liz George is the publisher of Montclair Local. liz@montclairlocal.news

49 replies on “The Year of the Rat”

  1. “Stand on toilet, get high on pot.”
    You asked; don’t blame me.
    Steak & spaghetti con aglio e olio. Wanna come over?

  2. I know you guys mean well and would feel bad to know that Chinese fortune cookie humor and pidgin Chinese (“Confucius say….” etc ) offends real Chinese people but, well, it does! I used to get teased with this kind of stuff when I was a kid. It really bugs me……It’s just how African-Americans feel when people do that mock ebonics business. Just kinda gives me a stomach ache.

  3. Hey–I got “Stand on toilet, get high on pot.” TOO! Go figure.
    Dinner: Red Lentil Soup w/Lemon (a GREAT recipe from the NYT)

  4. I am not making this up:
    Just because men have one, doesn’t mean they have to be one.
    Dinner was steamed dumplings and chicken w/broccoli

  5. If Chinese fortune cookie humor offends the Chinese people, the ones who run restaurants should really, really stop giving out the cookies, many of which have “witty” sayings akin to those on the linked website.

  6. Nian Shu Kuai Le!!
    I had dumplings last night, but meatloaf tonight.
    Next weeking I’ll be cooking a Chinese dinner for friends.
    Gong Xi! Gong Xi!
    (jerseyborn — I’m with you. I’m not Chinese, but I’m Chinese in my heart, and I cringe when someone sends me that stuff.)

  7. Wah, the fortune generator called me fat: If someone calls you fat, don’t get angry… just turn the other chin.

  8. I always read Inquiring Spouse’s fortune for him, and it always says, “You are the luckiest man in the world!”

  9. Jerseyborn, I am embarrassed by my fellow Americans and mammals. Sometimes, when I read the posts on Baristaville, I rationalize by telling myself that many posters are simply too young to have experienced the personal pains caused by racism. It’s not an excuse, but…
    On the other hand, based on conversations I have had with one or two people of Asian descent (in this case, Japanese) – This is why the diverse peoples of Asian heritage need to work harder at addressing their own biases, especially toward African-Americans. See, in the end, bias breeds more bias! Happy New Year if you are Chinese! love, nana.

  10. My fortune was: It is better to lose a lover than love a loser.
    My favorite fortune of all time: Help! I’m trapped in a fortune cookie factory!

  11. Profwilliams and Crank: I think everybody regardless of race needs to stop being mean and acting cruddy and reinforcing dopey sterotypes, toward other races and (perhaps inadvertently)toward their own. If you can’t get with that, then what are you all about? Really?

  12. Profwilliams and Crank: I think everybody regardless of race needs to stop being mean and acting cruddy and reinforcing dopey sterotypes, toward other races and (perhaps inadvertently)toward their own. If you can’t get with that, then what are you all about? Really?

  13. And so jersey, is yours a vote for or against the idea that perhaps Fortune Cookies may perpetuate racial stereotyping?

  14. I think it is a vote against competition. Where are the fortune matzos, fortune wafers, fortune bean sprouts?

  15. Walleroo, please, give credit where it’s due. The line you quote comes from Jack Douglas, a comedy writer who was a favorite of Jack Paar.

  16. man who walks thru turnstyle sideways is going to bangkok
    Jerseyborn- does that mean that you don’t watch comedy central, never receive a forwarded email joke from friends that haven’t been off-color?
    The world is full of color – on and off…..deal with it.
    Dinner: shrimp n broccoli

  17. Hey jerseyborn, lighten up. You don’t know squat about me. Reinforcing stereotypes? Where in the world did you get that idea? Puh-leese.
    My second favorite fortune: Do not remove this tag under penalty of law.

  18. And the book (by Jack Douglas) was… “My Brother Was an Only Child.”
    Mastriano’s prime tenderloin, anchovy/tarragon butter, twice-baked potatoes, Chilean cabernet, Alli, late trip to Friendly’s. 🙂

  19. jerseyborn,
    lighten the ‘f’ up,will ya. we don’t need another one of you self proclaimed ‘do-gooders’ telling the rest of us what we should say or do.
    sit back and share a laugh with General Tso.

  20. The best way to save face, is to keep the lower part of it shut.
    But I can’t seem to help myself…
    I am an equal opportunity offender. I offend everyone regardless of race, ethnicity, sex or socio-economic background.

  21. “Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.”
    “Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.”
    I love it…

  22. “The price of stamps grows ever higher.” (okay, that was from The Simpsons)
    Has anyone actually *seen* a fortune — from a cookie, not a “wacky” online generator — written in broken English? I can’t remember ever getting one that hasn’t been grammatically correct.
    Of course, when you dine with a predominantly Chinese party, you tend to get oranges rather than cookies anyway.

  23. Yup, professor, I do think fortune cookie humor reinforces a stereotype. Is it the biggest issue in the world? Naw. Do I freak out when I get a fortune cookie and go on a big tirade? No. I open em up sometimes & read the fortune. No big deal. It’s just seeing it on the site held up as a funny thing bugged me. And hearing people try to get laughs out of it on Comedy Central bugs me too. It plays into a demeaning stereotype, the “inscrutable chinese.” I guess I just wanted to get you guys thinking about it. We all get habituated to certain kinds of humor and it’s worth examining that once in a while. I have a friend who is cool, kind, thoughtful — and who also likes the Simpsons. He loves Apu. It never occurred to him that his funny Apu imitations – truly funny tho’ they were — really made an Indian friend of his feel bad. So he knocked it off. That doesn’t mean the Simpsons should get rid of that character or all ethnic humor should be erased or that guy was being a pc wimp. He was just being kind and decent. And trying to put himself in another person’s shoes. Always a worthhile exercise. I bet we can agree on that……?

  24. Mistaluke:
    Put 4 tbs. of softened butter and four tbs. of good Extra Virgin olive oil in a bowl; add six or eight flat fillets of anchovies, 2-3 cloves of minced garlic, and sprinkle with crushed red pepper flakes to taste. Mush it all up. It will look like the dog’s breakfast, but never mind. Cook 3/4 lb. of angel hair pasta al dente — 4 minutes or so; don’t salt the water too much because the anchovies have lots of salt. Dump the water and pour the anchovy sauce over the hot pasta. Sprinkle liberally with freshly chopped parsley and parmigiano reggiano. No meat! Abbondanza!

  25. jerseyborn,
    we probably don’t agree on much but you eloquently stated your case for walking in anothers shoes.
    Happy New Year

  26. WHy do they always say “good” olive oil? Like, if they didn’t say that, I’m gonna go out & get the crappiest most rancid oil I can find & use that? Seriously now!
    Jerseyborn I dig your point about walking in someone else’s shoes. I probably do that more than most & never talk about it because there’s no need to. Anyway I will ponder the fortune cookie thing some more, which I admit I still don’t fully understand. It was always clear to me that jokes based on language issues were in extremely poor taste. I don’t see the harm in jokes that rely on wit.

  27. Conan: I know that. But the phrase is always “good olive oil.” Even in teh recipe you quoted it says “good EV olive oil.” Why isn’t “EV olive oil” sufficient?
    It just irks me. Why do they never tell you to use “good butter” or “good garlic” or “good anchovies”? Why they assume that we can be trusted to get a decent quality of every other ingredient but not the olive oil?

  28. I dunno. I always thought when I saw it in a recipe that it was talking about the stuff that tastes good. I’ve tried several different EVO’s lately (and few of them actually are 100% EVO, but that is a gripe for another column), and I have found one from Corrado’s whose taste I really like. That’s the one I call the “good” one, and I use it for dishes like that sauce or for dipping bread — where the taste of the oil will strongly affect the taste of the dish.
    The filets mentioned in my first post in this thread, by the way, were excellent — the young guys who are now running Mastriano’s on Broad Street near Watchung sell exceptional cuts of prime beef (as well as other meats). They also make the hamburger patties for Holsten’s. They will custom cut an entire filet mignon or NY strip for you, too. It isn’t cheap, but I found it less expensive than King’s by a couple of dollars a pound.

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