MayorTurns out Robert Bowser is not only the mayor of East Orange, NJ, but also a budding poet.

East Orange council members said they recently received more than 200-pages of previously sealed testimony–in their mail boxes–detailing a long-term extramarital affair Bowser had with a city employee who has filed a discrimination suit against him. Bowser, who’s in a tough reelection fight to win the upcoming Democratic primary, admits to the affair, and to giving money from his campaign fund to his mistress’s daughter, according to the deposition.

But back to his prose, which at times oddly juxtaposes the romantic with the businesslike. Here’s are some excerpts:

“Love is in the air. Breathe it in deeply for distribution throughout the body and soul. Enjoy the day. Be in by 10 or 10:15.”

“Good morning flower. Hope your day brings new hope, new meaning to those things so close to our hearts. Folks at Planning Board said hello.

Then there’s this gem…probably his finest work:

“Even the sea cannot produce the beauty of Ms. Hicks. If I were a fisherman I’d bait my line to hook you. You would be a prize catch, not as a trophy, but as someone for me to continue to love and adore.”

C’mon, can you do that? Try your hand at poetry, Bowser-style, in comments.

14 replies on “Poetry: Bowser Style”

  1. Here’s my problem with poetry (and a lot of art), when you say it’s the Mayor of East Orange, it’s ripe for laughs.

    But take these same poems, tell us they are a translation of a 18th century Italian, Mid-eastern, or a even a “lost” Frost poem, we’d all be like: “I love the violence in his metaphor: the softness of love against the ‘hooking’ of a fish,’ stunning. Reminded me of early Pascoli.”

    I’m reminded that Shakespeare wrote for the masses, but now he’s held up on a pedestal by the same folks who would never care about him “back in the day.” And yes. The Beatles were a cute boy band (the hair, the suits, the screaming girls….) when they started, but now we regard them (rightfully) as geniuses. But listen to “She loves me (yea, yea, yea),” or “Love me do” and tell me you knew “Yesterday” would come from them and I’ll call you a liar.

    So take heart Mr. Mayor, in 200 years, you might just be the most important poet of the day.

  2. There once was a mayor from E.O.,
    Who gave campaign funds to his hoe.
    His verses are fly,
    He’s a hell of a guy,
    But he’s not to be trusted with dough.

  3. There once was an East Orange mayor
    Ms. Hicks-He wanted to lay her
    Although he had a wife
    And it caused him some strife
    In defense, he said he didn’t pay her

  4. Whoa. When you said Bowser, I immediately thought of Sha Na Na. This Bowser is no Sha Na Na. Judging from his verse, he is more Cha Cha Cha or Lah Di Dah.
    Counting off the seconds until the first “Slow News Day” post from you know who doo dah.

  5. Sorry silverleaf, the cute suits and smiles (LOVE Ringo!!!) had me so blinded, I forgot they were even singing. In truth, I couldn’t hear through all the screaming coming from the tweens in my neighborhood.

    You still sportin’ a bowl cut? Like Michelle, I let my bangs go.

  6. No prob prof, as I was toddling around the living room when the Lads from Liverpool first appeared live on Ed Sullivan in Feb. ’64.

  7. Sorry I’m late then, Conan. But surely it’s really a slow commenting day, when someone like yourself has to post the drivel you did above by way of being noticed.

    I also long ago gave up the idea of any post on this site constituting, uh, “journalism.” So every day is thus a sort of “no real news day.” Abd one just flows into the other…

  8. cathar:

    huh—and i thought THIS was posting drivel by way of being noticed:

    “Hitchcock likely would have lived longer if he’d slimmed down, silverleaf. (Though I wonder how you seemingly know what he actually ate at the Brown Derby.) Properly slimmed down, he might even have have had some semblance of a romantic life with wife Alma, thus wouldn’t have supposedly come on so in desperation to the blonde actresses he hired.

    And Welles might not have taken so many of the terrible roles he took in (mostly European-made) jmovies if he hadn’t tried so hard to live the lifestyle of a complete sumptuary. He might even have finished “The Lady From Shanghai” properly if he hadn’t been so all-fired worried about where his next 20 Lucullan meals were coming from.

    Mikey Moore, alas, puports to be a “purer” sort of figure than those two gentlemen, someone of political commitment. His message would ring somewhat truer, I suggest, if he slimmed down.

    I also think, with the good prof, that production values matter for a great deal, even in documentaries. Technical crudity is hard to sit through. No matter the degree of commitment behind a documentary film. Samuel Fuller, for example, was a great “primitive” of a director, yes, but just about every one of his amazing movies was beautifuly shot, art directed and lit. No matter the small size of their budgets. (And some of those were also financed via their era’s equivalent to a black Amex card.)

    Really, too, how many of you would actually like to have to be seen in public with the waddly Michael Moore? Even if he picked up the check? Wouldn’t you worry just a bit if he was in the row immediately in front of you on a flight in coach?”

  9. I read jcunningham comment and smiled, thinking: suddenly he/she is a fun writer, adding wit to his/her point, while still maintaing a strong voice…

    Till I realized jcunningham was quoting cathar. Oh well, for a brief moment I smiled and found you charming.

    A brief moment.

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