DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

When Montclair was hit with another water main break — this time on March 7 near the corner of Bloomfield and Gates avenues — did you again wonder whether our town’s aged infrastructure could handle the Lackawanna Plaza redo if it ends up being too big, as currently proposed?

Sincerely,

Gush Hour

I did. Heck, Pink Floyd’s 1967 debut album “The Piper at the Gates of Dawn” is old yet still younger than much of Montclair’s water system. Of course, that album is now called “The Pipe at the Gates of Avenue.”


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

Dear Pink Floyd: “Wish You Were Here” to dispute that bogus title change. Dear Idiot Columnist: At least you didn’t riff on the name of Pink Floyd member Roger Waters.

Sincerely,

“Two Lost Souls Swimming in a Fish Bowl”

Wouldn’t dream of it. But if Lackawanna’s buildings become as tall as planned, they’ll cast enough shadows for nearby residents to think they’re on “The Dark Side of the Moon.”


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

That landmark Pink Floyd album turned 50 this month, but the James Howe House dates back to 1780!

Sincerely,

Centuries in “Eclipse”

Friends of the Howe House held another successful fundraiser on March 9 as the group continues its mission of turning the home into a place highlighting Montclair’s rich African-American history. For such a conversion, it’s important to have…”Money.”


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

That’s another Pink Floyd song, so I’ll add: “Hey You,” did you know Newark is the site of a new monument to saver-of-people Harriet Tubman designed by Montclair’s Nina Cooke John?

Sincerely,

Masonry, Not Nick Mason

It replaces a monument to harmer-of-people Christopher Columbus. Christopher and Columbus are also two streets in our town that could, but probably won’t, get new names “One of These Days.”


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

Meanwhile, the Township Council’s March 14 meeting came and went but there’s still no public announcement about the fate of the getting-lavish-pay-while-suspended township manager who was sued or formally accused by four women after allegedly creating a hostile workplace. What the hell is taking so long?

Sincerely,

Slower Than a Gilmour Guitar Solo

Good question! The Council belatedly voted to initiate his deserved firing on February 7 — more than five weeks ago. Do the Wright…um…right thing!

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

We know, we know — Richard Wright, David Gilmour, and Nick Mason were Pink Floyd members along with the aforementioned Roger Waters. Also, is there an effort to prevent Montclair CFO Padmaja Rao from doing some of her job? And, if so, is that retaliation for her being one of those suing the township manager?

Sincerely,

“Meddle”-ing

All in all it’s “Another Brick in the Wall” of suspect behavior by some of our town’s elected and unelected officials.


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

There’s a report that the township official who conducted the first investigation of the manager (and found Ms. Rao’s complaints to be legitimate) was never contacted for his take during the not-needed second investigation. Fishy?

Sincerely,

Less Stellar Than “Interstellar Overdrive”

Fishy. I’ll repeat that FOUR women sued or formally accused the manager of misconduct — the same number of musicians in Pink Floyd.


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

We live on Harrison, and that’s a strange comparison. What about the interim township attorney’s tenure being extended at the end of the Council’s March 14 meeting?

Sincerely,

Seeking a Judgment

I’m among those who disagree with that vote because of what the attorney didn’t do re the township manager situation and what he DID do re the fire deal that saw Glen Ridge fleece Montclair. BTW, the fire pictured on the cover of Pink Floyd’s 1975 album “Wish You Were Here” has burned for 48 years; douse it with water already!


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

That would warp the record. At least the Council — after lots of urging, mostly from senior residents — voted March 14 for a much-needed township social worker position to help seniors, people with disabilities, and others. Great?

Sincerely,

Really Great?

Fantastic! Probably just a coincidence that all surviving Pink Floyd members are seniors now.


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

Councilor-at-Large Peter Yacobellis — who has worked impressively hard in his post — sued those who alleged he has a conflict of interest related to Lackawanna Plaza. Reaction?

Sincerely,

Mention Creates Tension

When it comes to Montclair news, it’s “Everything Everywhere All at Once.”


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

An allusion to the acclaimed Oscar-winning movie, not to Pink Floyd? Meanwhile, “Welcome to the Machine”! Montclair Robotics is being classified as a team for the 2023-24 school year, meaning…

Sincerely,

“Breathe” a Sigh of Relief

…that outstanding high school club will get school district funding, like a sports team. As for Fortunato Field, “Shine On You Crazy Diamond.”


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

I’m worried about becoming “Comfortably Numb” to continual Pink Floyd references. Also for the next academic year, the Board of Education reduced the number of shortened school days from 22 to 12. Thoughts?

Sincerely,

“On the Turning Away”

No doubt a rebellion against the Pink Floyd song “Time” and its line “Every year is getting shorter…”


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

You — not “Us and Them” — are the only person who sees a Montclair connection there. In fact, Pink Floyd and our town are “Apples and Oranges.”

Sincerely,

“The Division Bell” Street

Then why does Clare Torry, who memorably sang without words on Pink Floyd’s “The Great Gig in the Sky,” have the same first name as Claremont Avenue?


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

“Have a Cigar” for spouting that nonsense. Getting back to Lackawanna, what would the proposed buildings really look like compared to the somewhat vague renderings the public has seen?

Sincerely,

“Goodbye Blue Sky”

Not sure. Perhaps they will, or won’t, provide enough “Echoes” of the old train station’s appealing architectural style.


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

The buildings would certainly differ from Pink Floyd Hall Arena at Montclair State. More importantly, will you avoid a repeat of this “Mother” of all musical themes in next week’s column?

Sincerely,

“Animals” Don’t Ice Skate

It’s called Floyd Hall Arena. And there will be no repeat; the theme of this week’s lengthy column was “A Momentary Lapse of Reason.”

 

 

Dave Astor, author, is the MontClairVoyant. His opinions about politics and local events are strictly his own and do not represent or reflect the views of Baristanet.