‘There once was a girl from Montclair…’

We asked, you answered. In honor of the day that’s in it, as they say, we asked you to send us your best limerick.
Limericks are, according to Wikipedia, “a form of poetry in five-line, predominantly anapestic meter with a strict rhyme scheme (AABBA), which is sometimes obscene with humorous intent.The third and fourth lines are usually shorter than the other three.” Limerick is also the name of a city in the southwest of Ireland on the Shannon River. Nobody’s really sure why these two have the same name, whether it has to do with poets called Maigue, or a bawdy song with the refrain “Will (or won’t) You Come (up) to Limerick?” It might also be a misspelling entirely of “Learic,” or a poem based on the rhymes of Edward Lear.
Whatever way it is, thanks, Montclair, for sending us yours for the week of St. Patrick’s Day. Here they are!

There once was a guy from Montclair
Who seemed to be fully aware
That his life in the bubble
Protects him from trouble
Political fights bring elsewhere
— Dave Herman

There once was a lass from Montclair
Who first moved to town as an au pair.
At MSU she took classes
Where she met many lasses
Then married one and raised their kids there.
— Kelly McDonald

There once was a Jewish colleen,
With red hair mane and eyes so green
Is she Irish, for all to be seen?
Just a wee little sprite
Gabbing with all of her might,
There must be a long-lost Dublin gene.
— Robin Woods (submitted with “regret and remorse”)