Dr. Martin Seligman, whom I once had the excellent experience of working with, is an UPenn psychologist and the author of the well-known book, Authentic Happiness. In that volume he identified three keys to genuine, authentic happiness: positive emotion, engagement in work, and living with meaning. When I first learned of those three keys several years ago, I immediately saw their application in wider life and, more locally for me, in education. What child wouldn’t thrive in a classroom that elicited from him or her positive emotion? Wouldn’t children stretch and grow even farther in their learning in a place where they lost track of time, caught in the flow of optimal engagement? And undoubtedly active learning comes from knowing that the classwork, the lesson, the experiment, or the project at hand was truly useful, either as foundation or as a piece that connects to other knowledge and to a greater whole. Yes, positive emotion, engagement and meaning were without doubt useful guideposts for me to look for in my teaching and, later, to cultivate in my work with teachers.

Recently Seligman has published a new book, Flourish. In it Marty adds two more elements to his previous three: the presence of positive relationships and an understanding of accomplishment. To thrive as a person, Seligman postulates, one must have in one’s life a sufficient number of positive relationships from which one can pull support and in which one can expand and grow. We also need a sense of accomplishment, and here Marty is specific as to its make-up. To feel genuinely accomplished, one must come up against a challenge, demonstrate perseverance and resiliency, and come out the other side with some definable success.

I find these two new additions timely. In this digital age, could Seligman have put his finger exactly on the pulse of what many perceive to be declining skills in children? Do children demonstrate determination, perseverance and resiliency (some use the word “grit”) the way they once did? And in this age of Facebook and texting, is it harder to cultivate meaningful positive relationships?

So now we have five excellent points to consider for our own personal happiness, for flourishing in school and, dare I say, even in our parenting. This year I will be thinking about how I can cultivate and promote Seligman’s five keys for myself, for my family and even for the place where I work as an educator. What more can we do as individuals and as a school to increase the presence of these five elements? And how can I include everyone in our community? I was drawn to the school where I now work, Montclair Cooperative School, because for me this was a place where I not only saw teachers and students flourish – I saw parents thriving here as well. Increasing that outcome even more for us all is one of my goals for the year.

One easy step in increasing meaning, positive relationships and that important sense of accomplishment for us as parents is to attend to our own growth in this area this year. As a cooperative school, MCS works with its dedicated parent volunteers to craft educational and inspirational experiences for those within and outside of the school where parents can acquire or polish tools that will help you persevere (and even show “grit”!) when the parenting road is tough going.

Rosalind Wiseman is coming to the Co-op on Thursday, October 6th in a free event open to the public. Her book Queen Bees and Wannabes gives parents many techniques to help children (and girls in particular) make their way through the twisty and bumpy landscape that is adolescence. This evening with Rosalind Wiseman will help you help your child walk away from the inevitable moments of social cruelty with pride and success. We expect this will be a standing room only evening and we may even have to turn some away. For an evening like this one can help us all flourish.

So how do you keep flourishing as a parent? As a person?

Maggie Granados first wrote about Wiseman on her blog Maggie’s Musings. She is head of Montclair Co-op.