When you have a child with special needs, it doesn’t take long to realize that even the most common, everyday activities can quickly escalate into a drama rivaling any Housewives Reunion show. A trip to the grocery story turns into a never-ending tantrum and attending classmates’ birthday parties (when your child is invited) can require a week’s worth of preparation. Add into the mix a ‘once a year’ event – like Halloween – and you may consider skipping the frightful festivities all together.
Barista Kids asked some local moms with children who have special needs about past trick or treating successes and we got back tons of great ideas.
Before giving up on your plans to parade your little Captain America around the neighborhood, consider these tips for Halloween with Kids who Have Special Needs:
Talk about it: Most children benefit from knowing what’s going to happen when they are about to participate in an unfamiliar activity. Walk your child through the process from stepping into their costume to politely asking for candy. Also, set expectations – you may not have time to get to every house on your block and they can’t stuff themselves with candy when they get home. Some kids may also feel more comfortable if they can practice ringing the doorbell and saying ‘trick or treat’ at a friend or family member’s house first. Just remember to tell your friends or family members what you are doing before your little one shows up on their doorstep.
Find the right costume: If your child has sensory issues with certain materials, an itchy costume can become a total fright-fest. Check the fabric of your child’s costume and make sure your little one is comfortable before heading out. Etsy offers some softer solutions. You can also dress your child in a cozy outfit of their own and simply paint their face or apply temporary tattoos. Face paint and temporary tattoos are especially good options if your child is visually impaired. Donning a mask may diminish their visual field even more.
Plan your route: Generally, quiet side streets will be more successful than main streets. If your child has motor issues or is in a wheelchair, the right route is critical. Make sure the sidewalks aren’t cracked and that the houses aren’t too far apart. Also, try to find blocks where most of the houses don’t have stairs leading to the front door. If your child tires easily, trick or treating at shops in Upper Montclair is a good plan.
Plan for pitfalls: Is your child non-verbal? Have you child trick or treat with a responsible buddy (if you won’t be there) or make up ‘trick or treat’ and ‘thank you’ signs that your child can hold up and that also explain that they have challenges speaking. Perhaps your child is fed via feeding tube or has significant dietary restrictions. Pick up some non-food trinkets your child would enjoy and drop them off before hand at a few houses you know you’ll be visiting.
Re-imagine the Halloween experience: Trick or treating can be overwhelming for any child. Avoid the anxiety and make some different memories. Plan to have some of your child’s friends over for a pumpkin carving party, a Halloween movie marathon or to make Halloween inspired snacks. Another cute idea is to invite some neighbors over and ask each adult to stand with a bowl of candy in different rooms around your house. The kids can knock on the doors and trick or treat right in your own home.
Buddy up: Visions of bags filled with one’s favorite chocolaty goodness is enough to send any kid running up their block shouting “trick or treat.” As the afternoon wears on and trick or treating groups pick up speed, kids who can’t move as fast can get left behind. Ask some of your friends with kids who have challenges if you can all go trick or treating together. This way, your kids can move at their own pace and no one is left alone. You’ll also appreciate the company.
Give yourself a pat on the back: You can’t control everything. It may start to rain, your child may trip and fall on their costume or they may have a monster meltdown despite your Nasa-worthy preparations. Stuff happens. Remember, you’re doing the best you can.