Like everyone, I was stunned when I heard the news of Whitney Houston’s passing. Then I immediately thought of her daughter. How old is she? Was she with her mom?
Then the non-stop videos appeared everywhere and the sound of Whitney’s amazing voice started to haunt me. She was so young when we were first introduced to her. She had so much talent — maybe for one person to handle. And maybe she did not handle the process of sharing her voice and her talent with the world as well as we assumed she did.
Yesterday, I opened a yoga class with a meditation for Whitney’s daughter, Bobbi Kristina. I didn’t say all those words that we have been hearing all weekend. I simply said, as a parent, “let us send our prayers to this young girl who has lost her mother.”
All those words kept replaying in my head. I was stunned, then sad, now I’m mad. If Whitney was my girlfriend I would be steaming mad at her. As a parent, we need to get our stuff together. At some point, we need to do better, try harder and ask for more help, simply for our children. I don’t know all the details of Whitney Houston’s alleged drug use or any other challenges she faced during her short life, but I would give my girlfriend some tough love.
I know it’s possible to make healthier choices. I know it is very difficult to stay on a positive path. And I know, that as parents, we need to choose to surround ourselves with those who lifts us up, not bring of down. (Is that a lyric she sang?) It’s our job to be the best role models we can be, for our children, especially our daughters. I know that for some, like Whitney, it’s a tough battle.
Whitney, I love you, and I sang in my living room to you, but I am mad at the irresponsibility you have displayed as a parent. Those who you chose to surround yourself with didn’t serve you well, even now.
There was a friend of yours, on the news, expressing that you are not a drug addict anymore and that it is okay for you to drink and take prescription drugs. I’m not Dr. Drew, but common sense screams — NOT! Okay?! You are gone.
I keep seeing this interview from a couple years ago with you and your mentor, Clive Davis. You are expressing your desire to move to an island, live in a hut and sell strawberries. Your mentor said no, we need to make another album. You must sing for the world. Maybe you would be here for Bobbi Kristina if you did move to that island.
The emotions shift constantly. Now I’m not mad, I am overwhelmed with sadness, that my “girlfriend” isn’t here anymore.
We should all, as parents, share her story with our kids. Remember to set our alarms, get up early, and go to that yoga/spin/kick boxing/mediation class to channel more positive energy. Let us try a little harder to be a little healthier and support each other through the process. We know life is tricky and unpredictable. Maybe Whitney needed us not to listen to her music. Maybe she needed us to hear what would be a better choice for her, and ultimately, for her daughter.
I find this post confusing.
“Like everyone, I was stunned when I heard the news of Whitney Houston’s passing. ”
I was not stunned. If you are on addicted to drugs you either quit and get clean or they kill you. One does not need to be Nostradamus to predict that, sadly bad things were in her future.
“It’s our job to be the best role models we can be, for our children, especially our daughters.”
No we need to be the best role models we can be for our sons and our daughters. Look at the horrible man she was married to and how he treated his wife.
“Remember to set our alarms, get up early, and go to that yoga/spin/kick boxing/mediation class to channel more positive energy.”
You can do all of these thing AND be a addict. There is a much bigger picture her and getting up for a spinning class etc. seems to be glossing over that point.
For one I do not teach my children to look up to celebrities such as Kim Kardashian. Unless they have done something fantasic in life, in my home, celebrities are on the same playing field as the man who picks up my garbage
I think the bigger lesson here is :Surround yourself with good people and good things come. Surround yourself with bad people and bad things happen.
I did not know Whitney Houston but grew up with her music and her voice, like the late Judy Garland, blew me away. The lost of her life so young is extremely tragic for so many.
Why would put down garbage collectors? What would you do if they went on strike, for say, a month ? YOU would be begging, pleading for their return,
to take away your trash ! Do you think it is an easy job? Do you think they are overpaid ??
Wow what a judgmental article. Part of being a good example would be showing compassion for others instead of passing judgement from a pious soapbox. And as far as tough love to your own friends, you can’t help anyone who doesn’t want help, so tough love isn’t enough. You don’t know what was done or being done. Maybe part of Whitney’s issues were nosy soccer moms nit picking at her lifestyle and assuming the worst.
Maybe the “h” was supposed to be an “n” —
I am NOT mad at you, Whitney Houston
Another problem solved!
I agree with the anger at her friends, her mentor. And even the anger at Whitney herself. But anyone who has ever dealt with serious addiction – either yourself or a loved one will know it takes more than just deciding to get up and make positive choices.
How can I judge too harshly when I *know* I shouldn’t have another piece of cake, but still I eat it – including the frosting. That’s an addiction much easier to break than hard-core drugs.
As the author mentions, the “friend” who said Whitney was no longer an addict has a deep misunderstanding of substance addiction and abuse. Whether or not you like Wendy Williams, she has a necessary message for loved ones of addicts: If you know an addict, if you love an addict: reach out and call them out. It won’t “cure” them, but it will make it harder for them to hide it and deny it. I’m attaching the clip from her show:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oar7ix92nkI
No Sandy I did not put down garbage collectors.
Everyone is in the same playing field with me me. It what is what we do with our lives not our vocation that matters. Singers, garbage collectors, lawyers and painters all the same.
It’s not judgmental to be angry at a person who allows their addiction to become a part of a child’s life.
People make choice in their lives, and even with mental illness and addiction, you don’t get a pass on your actions, especially when a child is involved. It doesn’t mean that I don’t have compassion for people with addictions.
Nobody said it was easy. Life isn’t easy, but we make choices on how to live our lives.
I was so sad to hear of Whitney’s death. Sad because she didn’t change her life and now has left a daughter distraught. But the damage on Bobbi Kristina has been done and I truly hope she makes choices in her life to be better and do better.
I’m a child of an addict, granddaughter of an addict, niece of an addict… If you think that addicts don’t have people around them who love them and try to help, you’re mistaken. And yes, ultimately it’s the addict who has to make the decision to stop being selfish and get help. But they do need to be “called out.” They do need to be told they are bad parents while they abuse drugs, both illegal and legal drugs. What they don’t need is coddling.
Nicely said, ‘gette. Humans are extremely complicated biochemical beings.
Thanks ‘roo.
It’s not difficult to get married to a “soccer mom” but the daunting prerequisite of mendicant supplications have made the appearance of a quality counterpart the sole bearer of seed bearing and sun stroke. It is not enough that life not be complicated, one must expect that life has been complicated and needs pairing amongst the spectacular and ordinarily resolute declarations of a wholesome lifestyle eschewing pesticides, Zyklon B, and unmanageable populations. As if an identity equation were affixed to the annals of trivial compendium, the Herman Cain declaring 666 predetermines an adequate policy for dealing with a drug addict in a hypothetical trial with no clinical or trial measures to be applied because a simple negative connotation should somehow suffice. There are no topical treatments or unspoken truths that unite men and women when the balance of immaterial aspirations dilute the passion of libido, understanding, and the history that binds the attempts of retaining the soul of passion.